friends that i have known in sec sch, jc and uni are either
1. planning their marriages (i have already received notification of their ROM dates for year 2008/2009.. cos they want to 'book' me early... faint!! really too advanced notice lah...) ; or
2. married but yet to hold the customary dinner (point finger at xinyi... hahaha) ; or
3. married and happily (i hope so lah) with kids
this is insane lah!! to get married at such a young age (definition of young: married before 25 years old)... hahahaha... but i guess different ppl have different perspective of life, pros and cons for early marriage, and etc... so... whatever.
aniwae, if you have been to a chinese wedding ceremony/dinner, have you ever wondered why the bride/groom/everybody need to do certain things in a certain way?? *insert curious looks and thinking heads*... hahah... so, to save everyone's time, i have googled for the answer and posted it right here....
(yesh, google is the next best thing to happen after doughnut... errhh, is it doughnut? or is something else? those with powderful english pls confirm, hahaha)
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Proposal & Betrothal
In Chinese Culture, a marriage is considered the joining of two families. Thus the parents of the bride's and groom's get involved in their wedding planning from very early on. Two families pick an auspicious date as the Betrothal Day. This is a formal meeting between the parents of the perspective bride and groom. The groom's family presents various proposal gifts that represents fertility and prosperity in Chinese culture, which is also known as "Grand Gift" or "Guo Da Li". All gifts should come in even numbers, meaning "good things double" in Chinese culture. Thus, the two are considered officially engaged.
Chinese Wedding Cakes
After the betrothal meeting, both families will make wedding announcement to their relatives and friends by sending out "Double Happiness Cakes" along with wedding invitations. This is the Chinese style wedding cakes also known as "Dragon & Phoenix Cakes". These are baked cake with dragon and phoenix imprint on the surface. Some styles have fillings made of lotus seed paste, red bean paste or green bean paste.
The wedding cakes are usually presented to the bride's family by the groom's family as part of the proposal gift. Bride's family will then present some of the cakes to worship their ancestors and send the rest of cakes to friends and relatives along with wedding invitations. Quantity of cakes to be sent depends on seniority of guest or relationship with the family. Nowadays, the wedding cakes are usually served to the guests at the wedding instead of the western style wedding cakes.
Chinese Wedding Dowry
The bride's family then prepares dowry and give a list of the dowries to the groom's family. Dowry is mostly composed of daily necessities for the new home, such as bedding, linen and dining set, etc. In the old Chinese culture, girls start learning needle work at young age, and prepare plenty of shoes, socks, table cloth etc, as part of her dowry. This is also an opportunity for the bride's family to display their love for their daughter as well as their wealth.
Bridal Bed Setting (An Chuang) Ritual
A few days before the wedding, the bride's family send dowry to the groom's family, or the couple's new home nowadays. The groom's family will invite a respected female relative or friend to "set the bridal bed" at the new home.
Chinese Wedding Decorations
The two families decorates the bridal house and the reception site for the upcoming wedding ceremony. Lots of lively colors, red in particular, is used in Chinese wedding decoration. Red banners used for wedding is called "happiness banners", which is an essential part of the wedding decorations. It's decorated on both sides of the doors of the newlywed's home and the reception site. The Chinese writing on the banners are rhythmic poem praising the adorable couple and the perfect marriage.
Wedding Day Ceremony
In the morning of the wedding day, "hair dressing" (Shang Tou) ritual is performed for the bride. A "good luck woman", woman with living parents, spouse and children, will come to help dressing up the bride's hair. The woman should also say auspicious words while tying up her hair in a bun, a style of married woman. The groom's family perform "capping" (Jia Guan) ritual for the groom at their home. These rituals in Chinese culture symbolize that they are entering adulthood.
Chinese Wedding Door Game
Then the groom sets out to the bride's home, and he will inevitably be blocked at her door by her friends, and the bridesmaids will play door game with the groom and his attendants.
Door game originated from ancient time which implies that the bride is a lovely girl and her family and friends do not want to marry her away. The groom will be blocked at the bride's door, and her friends will try to stop him from entering by asking questions about the bride, a way to test if he really cares about her. They may also do other tricks to delay the bride's leaving. The groom will try to buy his way in by presenting "Li Shi", token money wrapped in red envelops. Door game is a joyous and good-natured "bargain" game essential in Chinese wedding.
yeah! good reasons for us to have very difficult/challenging games for the groom... we REALLY do not want to marry our friend away...
When the bride finally goes out to ascend the car, a bridesmaid will hold a red umbrella over her head, meaning "raise the bark, spread the leaves." Other relatives will scatter rice, red bean and green bean on her. The red umbrella protects the bride from evil spirit, and the rice and beans are to attract the attention of the gold chicken.
When the bridal sedan, equivalent of motorcade nowadays, arrives the groom's home, firecrackers and music with gongs and drums greets the bride. The bride will leap over a iron basin with lit charcoal inside. It is a ritual to bring prosperity and keep evils away.
Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony
Then at the official ritual that equals to the wedding vow in western wedding, the newlyweds kneel three times, to the heaven and earth, to the ancestral tablets and their parents, then to each other. The kneeling part has been replaced with bowing in modern Chinese wedding. The bride then present tea to the parents and relatives in sequence of seniority. Those who receive the tea usually give the bride gifts such as jewelry or Li Shi money wrapped in red envelope. Thus it's the end of the ritual and the wedding proceeds to the banquet venue.
Chinese Wedding Food
Certain types of food are commonly served at the Chinese wedding banquet, which include fish, roast suckling pig, pigeon, chicken cooked with red oil, lobster and desert bun with lotus seeds stuffed inside. The pronunciation of fish is the same as "abundance", meaning the newlyweds will have plentiful of wealth. Roast suckling pig is usually served whole, a symbol of the bride's purity (virginity). Pigeon implies peaceful future. Chicken also means phoenix, cooked in red oil to symbolize the wish for a prosperous life ahead for the newlyweds. Lobster is literally called "dragon shrimp" in Chinese. Having lobster and chicken together at wedding banquet indicates that the dragon and the phoenix are hormones together, and the Yin and Yang elements in this family is balanced.
Chinese Wedding Dress
The color red is considered good luck, a strong color that can drive away evil spirits. The traditional Chinese wedding dress in northern China usually is one-piece frock named Qi Pao, embroidered with elaborate gold and silver designs. Brides from southern China usually wear two-piece dress named Qun Gua, Kwa or Cheongsam, also elaborately adorned with golden phoenix and dragon. In the old days, a piece of red veil is part of the bride's costume to cover her face during the wedding ceremony. Newlyweds would see each other's face for the first time in their lives at their wedding night.
In modern Chinese wedding, the bride changes dresses at least 3 times at the wedding day. She would start with western style white wedding gown for a church for civil ceremony. Then at the tea ceremony, she would change to traditional Chinese bridal dress, which she will wear to the reception too. Before the end of the banquet, she would change into a cocktail dress, and great the guests, and then see them off at the door, thus this dress is also called "Song Ke" (See Guests Off) dress.
i pity the bride lor... only get to eat the first 2 dishes for the whole dinner event... starving already lah... hahaha
Chinese Wedding Night Ritual
The night of the wedding, the bridal room will lit dragon and phoenix candle to drive away the evil spirit. This is a Chinese version of unity candle. The newlyweds will drink wine from two cups tied together with a red string, arms crossed from each other. This is the formal wedding vow in Chinese culture. Then the bride will be offered dumplings that's boiled half-raw. The pronunciation of "raw" is the same as giving birth to children, a indication of family prosperity.
Post-wedding Customs
The next morning of the wedding, the bride should get up early and make a meal for the groom's family to demonstrate that she is well-nurtured. Three days after the wedding, the groom and bride will go back to visit the bride's parents.
aniwae, this is the reason why the couple has to change at their new house and return to the groom's and bride's house in the afternooon... who's going to wait for 3 days right? hahaha... just do everything in the same morning/afternoon
11 comments:
still question mark at the cab uncle just now...
1. he spoke to me in hokkien (which i can only understand partially)
2. he kept talking and talking for non-stop (while i was super tired and sleepy and whatnot)
3. he expected me to converse with him in hokkien (which i can only do so by saying key words in hokkien... rest of conversation is in either yah, nob head or singlish)
never mind the above 3 pts... he actually thought that i wore a red gown to shop at vivo city *insert scratching head* pls lah, who in the right mind will wear a red GOWN to go shopping??
so i corrected him by saying that i went for a friend's wedding dinner.. and guess what?? he thought that i have left sch 10 YEARS ago and was impressed that i still keep in contact with my UNI fren.... *insert frowns* it's either there's something wrong with his eyes or there's something wrong with my makeup/attire... faint lah
wow...tts a whole lots of info...nt sure if i will read all.. anw nowadays..some ppl choose to do things differently or just a variant of the whole thing. Think diff ppl/dialects follow diff procedures. I have this fren who have been happily married for 2 to 3 years? but skipped the whole customary wedding thing. An army fren of mine also romed at 21...and had his customary at 26. Others just went ahead with only the church wedding..:P
I suspect most ppl will still follow most of the procedures just to please the parents or smthg..but maybe some of you have different opinions/wishes..yar?
Anw seems 26 is a good age to marry..but then again...there is nothing truely wrong in marrying just after 30..After all, we do become more sensible, have lived a more vibrant life and would have better knowledge of our wants..
Wow Aihua I'm more informed after ur blog post. Maybe after attending Xinyi's wedding i'm more interested to noe such stuff. Anw I was super tired as well & concussed right after I reached home from the banquet. I just had D&D one nite b4 Xinyi's wedding so 2 nites of gd food has made me gain 1 kg!!! Your taxi driver is blind lah, haha!
Anw as I was saying, 2 nites ago after I came back from D&D, I found a crab in my room!!! A REAL LIFE LIVING WALKING CRAB!!! It managed to escape from its prison in the kitchen all the way to my room at the other end of the house! That is like a 20m walk lor! For a crab, it must have been a 10km equivalent marathon! I didn't see it, until my sis walked into my room and started screaming. My first thot was, did my dad play a trick on us by throwing a toy crab in my rm, but apparently not cos it was still advancing in its horizontal walking way towards ME!!!!! So scary.
Now you know it is possible to have a crab in your room. :p
Add-on:
I feel happy for Xinyi last nite. Feel that she has found a good man to settle down with. They looked so blissful together last nite. :)
wahahaha..super funny lah..selene. ur crab muz hav sniffed out smthing gd in ur rm to have walked e marathon. I guess it's now crab stew?
aihua, next time u meet another cab uncle liddat, juz speak in english "Uncle I don't understand u", and remain silent e rest of e journey. See if he wants to continue to speak to e wall.
Can't stand such talktative n can't-take-e-hint cab drivers!!
I agree with Fiona's comment about the uncle. He "bat jiu (eyes) pa tio (pasted with) stamp" (hokkien).
Quite amused with the "raise the bark, spread the leave" term for Kai zhi san ye" haha. a very literal translation indeed.
In any case, noted that the guy's family doesnt have to set aside tables for the gals family. Maybe this practice should be reinstated! HAHA
Haha yes it had become crab stew and I didn't get a chance to eat it after that traumatising incident! Hmmph...
yah, i think the customary dinner is just to please the parents then anything else... all for show one... hahahaha
hmm... i think 28/29 will be a good age to get married bah... but then it may be a bit difficult to qualify for hdb loan since it's very unlikely that the combined income is less than 7k... (3.5k each lor... if you graduated from uni and work for like 5years already, i bet the pay is more than that lah... hahaha)
aniwae, i think it's a practice to set aside tables for the bride's family lah... hahahaha.. pls, you only get married once in your lifetime (unless you divorce of course and remarry), this kind of money cannot save one
think its 8k, not 7. heard of this trick whereby the couple only applied for the hdb loan when one of them has resigned. apparently the rule is such that the couple must not earn more than 8k AT the time of the application. not before or after. haha
okie... below is the income ceiling for application of hdb flats..
1. Buying a 4-room or bigger flat:
Your gross monthly household income must not be more than $8,000
2. Buying a 3-room:
Your gross monthly household income must not be more than $3,000
3. Buying a 2-room:
Your gross monthly household income must not be more than $2,000
Computation of gross monthly household income:
1. Employed person
Assessment is based on monthly gross salary (exclude income earned from overtime work) or basic salary plus fixed allowances which are included in the terms and conditions of employment (eg transport, food, laundry, uniform, etc).
Proof of income:
Latest Original Payslips or Letter from employer (with company stamp/letterhead, name, signature and designation of certifying officer).
NOTE:
Income tax returns are not acceptable for employed persons. Bonuses will also not form part of the assessment and will need to be excluded.
My friend had a ROM receiption at Raffles Hotel last sat. It's grand yet simple n sweet. U gals n guys can consider there for your wedding next time.
Haha..Selene...why U dun have chance to eat e CRAB?I think he's fighting for his life and managed to run to ur rm.
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